just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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