not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
