No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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