Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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