she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize