My first STD was from a foam party
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
