ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
