Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
