i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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