me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
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You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
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I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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