If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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