The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
