You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
