I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
