can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Oh god it's open bar.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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