Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
