but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
