I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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