At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
