He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
