FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
