she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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