I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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