he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
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