From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
