You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
