if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
