You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
