Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
