she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
