I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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