She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
