Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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