I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
