If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
