Where is the hickey?
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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