there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
