I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Success! We fucked roommates!
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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