...so i touched it.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Randomize
