This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
