After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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