Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
