Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
