What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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