Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
NoShamevember. You game?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize