Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
