Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize