her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize