my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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