oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
