i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
