It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
She announced her abortion via fbk
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
