What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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