I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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