So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
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