I feel like I'm in dance class right now
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
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