I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
