i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
