I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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