had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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