I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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