like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
